Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
