I hate your face
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
