I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
