he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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