Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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