What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
