Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
