of course. lets lasso hookers.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Drunk is not a location!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
