i would punch a child for taco bell
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize