if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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