A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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