i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
