Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
