She's JV to your varsity
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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