doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
