oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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