maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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