Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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