Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
