So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
