You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
