can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
