I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
