i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
