So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
