My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
