Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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