i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
