problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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