porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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