Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize