i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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