Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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