...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
