Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
