Dual....:-)
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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