didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Randomize
