you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
