Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
