So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
