Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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