he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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