i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
