it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
