Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
