Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I pour the whiskey from now on
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
