I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
