with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
