lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
