Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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