Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
