I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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