My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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