Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
