My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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