We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she pinky promised me she was 18
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
