We won't sleep together?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
