He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
