piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
this boner is exhausting
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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