talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
