it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize