Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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