I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
