Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
