i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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