I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize