It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
