I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize