some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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