If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
