hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
