when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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