i barfeds in our rink
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The Olympian is in my bed
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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