He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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