wakey wakey hands off snakey
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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