her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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