STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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