I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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