My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
