So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
