I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize